pondělí 16. prosince 2013

Full Moon

You know that feeling when suddenly one song from your favourite band that doesn´t exist anymore starts playing and you instantly turn into completely different mood than you were before and you out of nowhere have this urge feeling to write something on your blog you almost forgot about, this strong necessity to say it ALL, to describe all those feelings, fears and memories. And then, the song stops, cause that is what songs usually do, they stop, just so unexpectedly like they began, anyway the song stops playing and this high feeling is suddenly gone (forever) and all you actually have is emptiness. Cause you actually don´t feel like writing anymore. Certainly not to that blog noone cares about. And you absolutely don´t want to write (again) some heartbreaking feelings that will be missunderstood (again) and you don´t want to (really don´t want to) read some impressive comments from someone who knows everything better.
So you just lie on your bed again, so tired (after work, broken dreams and after that pityfull realization you actually don´t have anything to say to anybody) and listen to some other music until it happend again, like a stroke, some other song from the same band, that one that made you once act like crazy, that one that gave you days of what life means, that one that doesn´t exist anymore and this time you grab the computer before it fades away and you actually REALLY write something. Something completely different that you wanted. And you don´t care.
Cause lately you felt to the ground. Cause lately it seems like the song always ends too soon. Cause lately you just keep asking: What the fuck was the fucking point? Cause lately you lost the track of yourself completely and cause lately you fear that that guy who was singing if you still believe in magic doesn´t believe in it anymore. And you´re scared (so scared) that you actually don´t believe in it either.
And then the song ends again.
And you´re just tired from the work. From meeting all those horrible people.

And you still don´t know a shit about it all.

And life´s still beautiful.